Creativity and Inner Conflict: Auto​-​Ethnography and Reflection of an Artist's Inner Dialogue

by Diana Pearson

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In the pursuit of creativity, negative core beliefs are significant obstacles to an artist’s success, while positive affirmations encourage self-actualization. We cannot deny the importance of a positive mindset in an artist’s discipline; ruminating negative fears can hinder mental focus, suppressing creativity.

This creative auto-ethnography portrays my own mental struggle with deep-rooted doubts and fears as an artist, and my attempt to battle these negative beliefs through positive affirmation. The intent of this piece is to create an aesthetic of tension and anxiety, ultimately evoking in the listener the artist’s feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.

lyrics

In the pursuit of creativity, negative core beliefs are significant obstacles to an artist’s success, while positive affirmations encourage us to reach our highest potential. As artists, spending countless hours in diligent practice is not our only pre-requisite to self-actualization; we cannot deny the importance of a positive mindset as part of our daily discipline. Through critical self-reflection of my own rehearsal process, I came to realize that my inner dialogue had been suppressing my own creativity and disrupting mental clarity. Becoming aware of my own irrational fears and beliefs was a transformative process for me, as it forced me to come face-to-face with my own deep-rooted negative beliefs.

The Artist’s Way written by Julia Cameron provides comprehensive insight into an artist’s path to higher creativity, which I (combined with auto-ethnography) used as the foundation for my research. In this audio documentary, layers of inner dialogue combined with distractions from our physical environment work together to create an aesthetic of tension and anxiety. An expressive, honest portrayal of an artist’s inner dialogue, the intent of this piece is to evoke in the listener the artist’s deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.

credits

released October 23, 2014
Cameron, Julia. 2002. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. New York: Penguin.
Robin Sharma, Bill Watterson, Haydn.

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Diana Pearson Edmonton, Alberta

Diana’s song-writing consists of catchy melodies, emotionally-driven lyrics and a distinct piano style. In performance Diana is confident and light-hearted but above all, sincere. Without doubt, she has the ability to capture the heart of any listener with her pure sound and open nature. Be on the look-out for this emerging Canadian artist as her musical success continues to grow. ... more

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